QUIT TRYING.

Just because the tree appears on your site doesn’t necessarily mean you can reach for the fruit. Everything that falls on our radar of possibility can not always be achieved. That’s true. You can not touch the stars unless you are not willing to get out of your bed and spoiler alert- THAT’S FINE!!

Stop antagonizing your counter-productivity:

Sailing on two boats can sometimes turn out to be one negative driving force in your life. This is not the errand of multi-tasking but something which puts subliminal pressure on you, for constantly being productive. To get to something, we overlook the long run it requires.

One of the crucial lessons taught in childhood says never stop trying until you succeed. For years this acted as an invisible energy that kept me on my toes; As if the universe is pushing you to run after things that you want. But practically this is more than just a reinforcing energy. It befuddles your mind into believing dubious facts like the more you delay, the lesser you achieve. The mind has all the axes to grind and whenever it picks a slower-paced one, you have no option but to stop, right there. The mind has its own fatigue and the inherent propensity to take a break.

Breaking the “BREAKS”:

Now first thing starts off by normalizing the concept of slowing down. What if I don’t want to run anymore or I am tired of chasing something that is not even vividly detectable. Nobody told that. Nobody teaches you to stop or take a pause. The only definition of “taking a break” implies having meals. What if my breaks are more than that. What if your inner self gives you a stop sign. Breaking the patterns is not going to end the world. Your mind designs your respective pattern and when you are not quite aligning with it, you can pause for a moment and ponder.

***

The catalog of bullshit!

Behavior is an integral part of the mind. Not only it is monitored constantly by your mind, but there is also a passive demarcation drawn by society to showcase only the set standards of behavior. This fancy catalog is fed into our system as soon as we begin to gain senses. In a certain sense, this is quite acceptable, as long as we are looking at things from a sophistication standpoint. Coming back to the set standards, I wanted to understand a little more on this, to see what does society implies.

What exactly is behavior? What are its complexities and how does someone determine its threshold?

Behavior is sometimes driven by emotions and feelings. Not only the limbic system can be held questionable for responding in certain situations but it also paves the way for any trauma building in the mind. Not a lot of people understand the dynamics of the human mind and the correlation between emotions and behavior. Anything that isn’t falling in the set standards range is considered to be unacceptable.

Some common conflicts of the emotional system:

  • Right from childhood, we are imparted with valuable morals and lessons that center our life and everything around it. A question arises in a situation of disagreement. In the process of growing up, numerous experiences come along our way. Some could leave a longer impression on our ability to think and hence the conflicts arise.
  • You are constantly reminded of taking it down a notch, be it your anger or your excitement. As a child, one can make peace with that fact. But what happens when you grow and experience conflicts. It’s like looking at an out-of-course question and not knowing what to do.
  • Opinions are not always welcomed. Having a voice of your own is not only normal but also incumbent. But as per the behavior catalog, this is not supposed to be done by the young ones.
  • Imagine going through something terrible and your behavior fabricates a potential conflict; the mind is absolutely clueless yet there is a solution needed.

It is assuredly normal to:

  • Believe in yourself before memorizing the catalog.
  • Disagreeing about the lessons we have been imparted with.
  • Having your own point of view.
  • Having your outburst even if the environment around you reminds you not to do so.

One thing that I have observed after thoroughly going through my catalog is that people don’t need to be always going to agree with what you think, or support your struggles or draw a conclusion from your motives. But when you attempt to step off your catalog, the people around you will come back to you. So talk to yourself first, before confiding in the catalog.

***

Looking for something?

I wish I could have stopped, borrowed sometime,

Or taken back the words I spoke, and cried a little,

I wish I never let myself out,

I wish I could have given myself the time to recover,

I wish I could have missed that train,

I wish life wasn’t so planned,

I wish it was everything I never imagined,

I wish those conversations ended,

I wish the feelings were always concealed,

I wish the scars never evaporated,

I wish the smiles never existed,

I wish that garden never bloomed,

I wish that house was always a house,

I wish the road ended sooner,

Now that I can’t take that part off myself,

I wish that part never existed.

****

Look up, or down!

I will start by ripping off all the bits of advice and ideas that intend to change our life. It won't be wrong to say that positivity is a convenience people want to cling to. I always thought being positive is the only way to be. Being a negative person is a sign of cowardice and unacceptance. Looking at the bright side of every story is and should be the only perspective. Imagine you have spent a considerable amount of time neglecting the idea of positive having an opposite aspect and existing at the same time. What are you going to do?
There isn't a two-step guide or three easy pieces of advice which can give you the courage to look at the other side, especially when you have always dwelled on the bright side. Now, what is the dark side? Why is it so petrifying? If ever you are forced into it, why does everything change around you? Or does it really change?
Before we begin to go all the way and start searching for answers, how comforting would it be to perceive that yes there is another side? And sometimes, there is only one side that could be either a good sign or a bad sign. Bad signs are not always warning signs. And just because you are around a good sign, it is not supposed to be there forever.
Life is beautiful and sometimes it's not. Sometimes there isn't a bright side. There is just one side and all you can do is swallow the hard pill, and find something worth walking the tunnel for..

I JUST WANT TO SAY..

I have been telling myself to do a couple of things each day, and it turned out to be great. I feel that whatever you are surrounded with and also whatever you are struggling with, holds a pivotal role in understanding your state of mind and what exactly you should be doing. Ever since the pandemic hit our lives, the world turned upside down. Ways to feel better diminished and some toxic shit surmounted our minds. Earlier I thought that whatever we see or end up feeling is exactly what is supposed to happen and now that we have it, we should simply accept it and adjust ourselves accordingly. But that in itself is such a mean thing to do to yourself and your spirits. Imagine you are subconsciously reminding yourself about your insecurities and how accustomed you are becoming with the fact of their dominance. Just like the nature, the science, everything has a twin side, mostly. And as prudent and logical it might sound, our shortcomings, just like our insecurities are a part of our lives; something that has grown out of us and will, in some way, always be there.

Here’s a list of few things, I strongly believe and it goes without saying, how much, even the smallest deeds have helped me combat so many things I could have not even imagined.

  • Start with listing few things that make you feel good and distant from your insecurities.
  • Like everyone, we do procrastinate. Anything that requires effort, even the slightest one, goes to our “I will do it later” list. Stop that. NOW!
  • Every morning when you wake up, you might end up feeling lost, desolated. I do. Here’s what I do: absolutely nothing. Let that feeling dissolve and move on. Because it is something that I am totally incapable of altering.
  • Echoing with the aforementioned point, always remember that you can not change everything. Just because it is disturbing, you can not always change it. Acceptance is not just a mere word. It comes with time. Just give yourself that time.
  • Whenever you feel you are on the verge of building something that could turn out to be really pestilent, warn yourself. React, resolve and do not REPEAT. React to the situation, Resolve your inner conflicts and prevent yourself from repeating the same game every time.
  • Everything in life is temporal and yes it is. Every phase, every circumstance and every situation. Time passes and things change. Just smile and hold on.

JUST HOLD ON

When everything was bolting,

I chose to stay,

When time drifted us apart,

I tried to recollect my pieces,

When life casted desolation on me,

I evaporated in the shadows,

When salvation turned gruesome,

I accepted my defeat,

When change is all what I had,

I swallowed the hard pill,

When the palace of illusions feel apart,

I put on a happy face.

When the faces turned unaccustomed,

And when the shoulders went cold,

I hid myself underneath my insecurities,

When I questioned myself,

Is it just me or the world?

The direction to the answer,

Just a mere misbelief,

I told me to be myself,

When the flood drowns you,

When you fire a flare gun,

When nobody cares and nobody wants to know,

Just be yourself,

That’s what life whispered!

***

Some days..

Out of the blues,

Somedays are little peculiar,

Makes me wonder how far, and how near,

Does the heart lie and smiles hide,

How much do the eyes speak,

How much does the soul deceive,

Somedays, you just want to sit and wonder,

Out of everything in the universe,

How beautiful are those sorrows,

That never leave your back,

The obscure force follows you,

With light never reaching the surface,

Somedays it is all yet nothing like that ..